The Ministry of a Wife
Introduction – “An excellent
wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness
in his bones” (Prov 12:14). The ministry of a wife is always
powerful. The glory with which she
adorns her husband can be stronger than nobility, and the shame she can bring
him can be more wicked than cancer. As
we begin, it is important to remember that the husband is always responsible
for the state of his marriage and of his family. But it is also important to remember that this does not mean that
the husband is automatically at fault.
And for the wives, it is always true that your sins are your sins, and ‘your
sins will find you out’.
An Excellent Wife is the Crown of Her Husband
– Godliness always produces much fruit.
For a wife in covenant with her husband and obedient to the Lord, the
blessings can be a hundred-fold.
A Woman Who
Fears God (Prov 31:30) – The text teaches that a certain
kind of woman will be praised. Your
so-called ‘charm’ and your ‘beauty’ will not fool anyone in the long run. Is it clear instead to those around you,
your husband first, that you fear the living God?
A Woman Who is
Adorned – In her office of wife, how is she to be
dressed?
With the Word
– The Word is to fill every part of her life (Deut 8:3) like nutrients to the
body. She is to look into the mirror of
the Word to see how she looks (James 1:23).
She is to be a disciplined learner (1 Tim 2:11). A man is a fool not to turn to his wife for
counsel, and she is a fool to think she knows apart from the Word.
With Good Deeds
– The mark of a godly widow is that she is known (and therefore was known) for
her good works (1 Tim 5:10, and 2:10).
She is busy in the home (Prov 31:27).
With Good
Attire – Yes, how you look matters (Prov 31:22, 1 Cor
11:5-9). Yes, it is to be modest with
propriety, but the godly profession is reflected in how you dress as well – the
crown should be lovely.
A Wife Who
Respects Her Husband – Eph 5:33 calls on wives to ‘reverence’
or ‘fear’ their husbands. The admiration
and honor should be in stark difference to anyone else and to any other man in
particular (1 Pet 3:5-6). Everyone
should know that this woman thinks this man stands out above all the rest by
the respect she pays him (Songs 2:3a).
As Her Head
– She is to reflect the relationship of the church to her Head, Christ (Eph
5:22-24). Women are not to submit to
men generally, but to one husband particularly. And they are to do so, in the Lord, in everything.
As Mistress of
the Domain – As the ‘lord of the earth’, the husband lays
claim through his vocation in the direction his family will go. As he provides for her, she becomes the
executive director of the home ministry (Tit 2:4-5). She is not the servant girl of the home, she is in charge. Her vocation includes wise shopping (Prov
31:14), good cooking (v15), clothing the family (v21), and long term planning
(v16, 24).
With Erotic
Responsiveness – (Songs 2:3)
The respect of a husband is a sexual response as well. She is to welcome his advances and even
draws him to herself (Songs 7:10-13), for this is a holy place of marriage (Heb
13:4) and a great protection for her husband (1 Cor 7:3-4).
But She Who Causes Shame is Like Rottenness in His Bones
– It is not good for a man to be alone. But you are not an automatic
blessing. It might be better for him to
be alone than with you, if you don’t…..
Mind Your
Tongue – We are all required to guard our tongues
(James 3:1-12), but wives are particularly warned (Prov 21:9, 19). Instead, make sure you are known for words
of wisdom and kindness (Prov 31:26).
Mind Your Eyes
– In general, women do not stray in the same kind of way sexually, as men are
tempted. But covetousness has many
faces, and because marriage is a sexual union, it always involves and often
leads to sexual infidelity. This was
often pictured in God’s metaphor of unfaithful Israel, His bride.
Mind Your Hands
– Idleness leads to great destruction (Prov 24:33-34). Make sure you are into your husband and into
your children and full of good works (Tit 2:3-4, and Prov 31:15, 17-18).
The Power to Change Him (1 Pet 3:1-2)
- Marriage is a covenant with attendant blessings and curses. It is amazing what a wife who is obedient to
the Lord in these things can accomplish in her husband. You must be a wife by faith, and
included in that faith is hope in these promises of God for your marriage
and your husband.
His
Responsibility Toward You – Are you a help or a nuisance? Are you his mistress of the domain or are
you flirting with other lands? Are you
his lady of wisdom and kindness, or are you full of contention? Are you his glory? While he is truly responsible before God for you, this is your
ministry. God has called you to
it. And God will provide the grace.