Family Ministry – Godly Admonition in a Godly Atmosphere

Introduction – So much of this is review for many of you. But with each new child and with each new week we need to be reminded of these things. In addition, as your child grows up in this fellowship, he or she should hear these sermons and find them making more and more sense – “that’s why my Mom and Dad do that…”

The Charge (Eph 6:1-4) – Children are to obey because God has granted authority to parents. They have to be commanded to do so because they will not naturally. They are promised blessings in particular because of God’s promises to His people.

Fathers – are addressed particularly because he is the covenant head of the family. Your wife may be the one who administers much if not most of the discipline, but you are always responsible. It also means that fathers are responsible to see that their children are obeying and respecting their mother. They are not competing with their wives to see who wins in the ‘obedience-race’.

Do Not Provoke – Your discipline and nurture must be just, that is, according to Scripture, not your moods. Your discipline must be consistent and impartial, not personal. Your discipline must be wise, considering the frame of your child, and with a view towards all that is to be accomplished in godly discipline. It is not punishment.

“Bring them up” – This command is using the same word Paul uses in 5:29, translated there ‘nourish’. Godly training and admonition ‘feeds’ your children.

“Training” – This very broad word encompasses a disciplined education and training in all areas of life, mentally, spiritually, physically, and vocationally. Your responsibility is for the whole child.

“Admonition”- This word means ‘to impart understanding, to warn (see Acts 20:31), to set right, to lay on the heart, to exhort’. It is what we are called to do as a congregation towards one another (Col 3:16) as we sing. Similarly, we are to use the Word to admonish our children.

Children, Obey Your Parents – The standard is simply this: prompt, cheerful obedience. It is to be modeled by the parents as they promptly and cheerfully obey their heavenly Father, and it is to be required of the children now. It is God’s standard, not ours – so we do not have the right to change it. And the scriptures teach that godly discipline is to accompany violations of this standard. We do not have the right to decide whether or not to discipline.

The Atmosphere in Godly Discipline – If this exists, discipline will be effective, and never abusive.

Fill Their Tanks (1 Thess 2:10-12) – Children need affection, and lots of it. Fellowship in the home must be sweet so that there is a stark contrast when painful discipline occurs. Your home must be a place filled with kindness so that repentance and restoration is always sought (Rom 2:14).

You Must Be Qualified (Gal 6:1-2) – Discipline must occur in a spirit of gentleness and humility. If you are angry or frustrated, you are disqualified. You must confess your own sin first before you attempt to drive sin from your child. You must discipline as one who desires to ‘bear one another’s burdens’. Are you prepared to walk with them through their trial?

Proper Evaluation (Psalm 103:13-14) – We must identify and name the sin, and separate sin from childishness, clumsiness, or naiveté. We must match the discipline to the offense, to the age of the child, and to the frame of that particular person. We must not excuse sin due to sickness or tiredness, but we must provide for our children when they have these needs.

Let the Proverbs Speak – These words of wisdom will take you far. Mark them in your Bibles and place them in your heart.

Prov 3:11-12 – Discipline proves they are your children and they are loved. Teach this.

Prov 13:1 – Your children must learn to ‘accept’ discipline. Among other things this affects how they stand when receiving the rod.

Prov 13:24 – Let us be clear. If you do not spank your little ones, you hate them.

Prov 15:5 – Discipline is not punishment. Its purpose is to teach and change.

Prov 19:18 – There is a particular time to trust the promises of God and His means of discipline. To be lax during that time period is to seek your child’s destruction.

Prov 20:30 – Done in faith, discipline cleanses; the result is almost always a more cheerful home.

Prov 22:6 – Remember to think of this verse in light of children with souls, created in the image of God, and of God’s promises to parents in the covenant.

Prov 22:15 – Stop the national debate. Spanking works.

Prov 23:13-14 – Someone once called these verses “Rod Evangelism”.

Prov 29:17 – Your children can be very pleasant, godly people, and bring you great joy.

Give Them Wisdom – “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother” (Prov 29:15). Note this carefully. Education alone does not produce wisdom. How many of our nation’s (and our church’s) leaders were not faithfully disciplined as children with an eye to the promises? Is it no wonder we are such a foolish and immoral people? Think long-term. Mold your mind to the scriptures and not the psycho-babble out there. Stand on the promises – and pick up the rod. Dave Hatcher, Sept 9, 2001