Family
Issues #3 – Bitterness in the Home (Eph
Introduction – Bitterness is
probably one of the trickiest sins to see in yourself. While other sins I have committed may come to
mind as I seek to be right before God, bitterness causes me to dwell on other
people’s sins (real or imagined) rather than my own. Bitterness is particularly sticky in the area
of marriage and family life. In the
midst of these intimate and long-term relationships, there runs the risk of
bitterness taking root and producing a fruit that defiles many (Heb
Poisonous Speech (v29) – Here is the
measure of what should come out of your mouth.
Your words should edify and impart grace. Always. If you find yourself trying to justify your
corrupt speech because of what ‘he did’, or ‘she said’, or the way he looked
when he said it, you are bitter.
Grieving God
(v30) – What you say, how you act, whether you obey or not – these things
affect God’s relationship towards you.
It is possible to grieve Him. His
Spirit is with you always, when you are speaking to your spouse, your children,
your parents, or your siblings.
Put It All Away (v31) – Bitterness
grows out of a sense of being wronged by someone else. It is self-deceiving from the start. You may think you are angry because of some
gross sin of another. But bitterness
does not depend on how great the sin is.
Bitterness depends on how close the other person is to you. This is why it often is manifest in families.
Root of
Bitterness (Heb
Confess Your
Sin (1 John 1:9) – The only way to get rid of
bitterness is to confess it as sin before the Lord. This must be done without regard to anyone
else’s sin. Only when your eyes are firmly
on your own sin will you be able to be free from bitterness.
Instead of
Bitterness (v32) – This is what makes us stand out as
Christian families, and as the body of Christ – our desire and ability to
forgive, to be tenderhearted, to be kind, in short, to imitate our Savior (also
Col 3:13). You can forgive one another,
and you must. Consider what Christ
teaches us in the Lord’s prayer (Matt
Bitterness Towards God – Ultimately,
bitterness about any situation is bitterness towards our sovereign God. Hard providences move us to cry out to the
Lord.
Godly
Bitterness of Soul (1 Sam
Bitterness
That Accuses God (Ex
Identifying THE
Sin – Are you bitter? Can you remember the details of another’s sin
– for weeks and years? Are you prepared
to forgive only after he says that he is sorry and really means it? Do you know how many times he did that this
last week, or since you have known him?
Confession of
THE Sin – Time does not remove bitterness. Someone else’s confession does not remove
bitterness. Confession of your own sin
of bitterness and repentance by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ is the only
way to be cleansed of this poison. As
Amy Carmichael said, “For a cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even one
drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted”. The bumps will come. What will spill out of you onto the rest of
your family?
Protection from
THE Sin – It is the grace of
God that protects us from this carnal way of life manifested through -
Confession
– Your household must regularly be fumigated of unconfessed sin, so that it
would smell of mercy and forgiveness again (Matt 5:7, James
Contentment –
Envy produces bitterness (James
Thanksgiving –
“…giving thanks always for all things to God…” (Eph 5:20). Checking the Greek carefully, we find this
verse means, “giving thanks always for all things to God”. Thankfulness for everything that comes to you
is the measure of your ‘reformed’ beliefs, and more importantly, your trust in
God’s character.