Prologue to the Ten Commandments

The Words of a Covenant

Part 6 - The Fifth Commandment
April 26, 1998

Exodus 20:12

12 "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. NKJV

Review and Introduction

We have completed our study of the first table of the law of God. As the first commandment in the second table of the law, we should not underestimate the importance of this command. Keep in mind that this is not a command primarily given to little children but rather a command given to all children.

All Authority Is Borrowed

God has established numerous offices with authority over us. The Bible does not emphasize the authority we individually possess and then tell us to go exercise that authority over others. Rather the Bible emphasizes who we are to submit to and implores us to do so unto the Lord. (Romans 13; Ephesians 5) We also know that all authority on earth is ultimately subject to Jesus Christ whether or not the one in authority manifests that submission or not. Therefore, the Bible not only tells us who to submit to but also tells us how and to what extent.
As we have considered before, there are three primary governments established by God; family, church and state. Each of theses authorities are considered governments because they comprise offices and those offices are granted authority by God. These three governments are also considered foundational governments because they do not get their permission to exist from each other, rather they exist because God has created them. In all cases, we see that no authority is absolute; all earthly authority culminates with the One to whom all authority has been given. This means that as we look down each of these governments and consider our obligations toward the offices and officers within the governments, we should see at the end of each our Lord and know that our obedience to each culminates with obedience to Him.
The extent to which this command to honor our parents applies is mentioned by Paul in Ephesians 6:1-3. We honor them as to the Lord. Therefore our honor, subjection or obedience to them is not absolute. In Matthew 10:34-39 we see that Jesus teaches that we must love or honor our parents but we must love and honor Him more than them. Those who honor their parents more than Christ are not worthy of being called His disciples.
It is not enough to say that this command has been followed simply because we do whatever our parents tell us to do. Our obedience to them must be as to the Lord. Notice in 1 Kings 22:52 how Ahaziah did evil by obeying His parents. Therefore, it is important that we honor and obey our parents as the Bible tells us to.
Fathers, when you teach your children to obey you, pay careful attention to teaching children (especially sons) to fear their mother. This is a particular temptation that will bring great trouble if not addressed. As we will see, not only are fathers to be obeyed but obedience to mothers is in many cases put in stronger language. All children will be tempted to dishonor their mothers because of the wonderful softness which frequently accompanies Godly mothers. Godly fathers should seek to ensure that their wives are well instructed but should also make a point of ensuring that this godly softness is not held in contempt by the children. (Deut 27:16) Husbands should ensure that their children see their mother backed by their father who himself is backed by the Lord.
Because we obey our parents as to the Lord, and His commands are not burdensome, we must never grumble or complain about obeying or honoring our parents. Complaining obedience is disobedience. Our obedience should always demonstrate the joy of pleasing them and our Lord. This obedience should also be vigorous. This will ensure that if the time comes where we must disobey our parents in order to obey our Lord, that we are not disqualified.

Ancient Command Versus Modern Opinions

It is fascinating to consider what the Bible teaches about disobeying parents. We have a tendency to think that rebellion by children is a cute demonstration of strong character. But the Bible holds a much lower view of disobedience when you consider the company in which it places rebellion toward parents. Romans 1:28-32; 2 Timothy 3:1-9
This presents a striking contrast with our modern opinions (unfortunately even among those inside the church). As we consider Mark 7:5-13 we must remember that it is God who has created us and His opinions are normative and authoritative. We must honor our parents because He has told us to and we must do so how He has told us to.

Honoring Our Parents Biblically

Children must obey their parents - Colossians 3:20 - ²⁰ Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.

Children must revere their parents - Leviticus 19:3 - ³ ‘Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and keep My Sabbaths: I am the Lord your God.

Children must heed their parents’ instruction - Proverbs 1:8 - ⁸ My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother;

Children must listen to their parents attentively - Proverbs 23:22 - ²² Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old.

Children must please their parents - Proverbs 10:1 - ¹ A wise son makes a glad father, But a foolish son is the grief of his mother.

Children must not steal from their parents - Proverbs 28:24 - ²⁴ Whoever robs his father or his mother, And says, "It is no transgression," The same is companion to a destroyer.

Children must not curse their parents - Exodus 21:17 - ¹⁷ "And he who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death. ; Leviticus 20:9; Mark 7
Children must repay their parents - 1 Timothy 5:4 - ⁴ But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God.

Children must never strike their parents - Exodus 21:15 - ¹⁵ "And he who strikes his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.

Children must acknowledge the parents responsibility over them sexually - Deut. 22:20-21 - ²⁰ "But if the thing is true, and evidences of virginity are not found for the young woman,²¹ "then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has done a disgraceful thing in Israel, to play the harlot in her father’s house. So you shall put away the evil from among you.

Children must never mock or make fun of their parents - Proverbs 30:17 - ¹⁷ The eye that mocks his father, And scorns obedience to his mother, The ravens of the valley will pick it out, And the young eagles will eat it.