The Sanctification of a Wife

EEF Men’s Meeting

January 12, 1999

& Ephesians 5:23-27, 32

We see that the institution of marriage, which God ordained at creation, was initially a profound mystery prophetically pointing to the relationship between Christ and the Church. We also see that husbands are commanded in the Scriptures to love our wives as Christ loved the Church. In order to understand the command to husbands we must first understand how it is that Christ demonstrated His love for the Church.

¨ Servant

Phil 2:5-8 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.

· So too, if a husband doesn’t give up himself for his wife, all of the other things he might do for his wife are disqualified because he is not a righteous head. This is not something that you do every now-and-then. A wife should be able to see that her husband is putting her and the family first in all of his decisions. Although in many cases he will act in such a way that he too is blessed, his primary direction for decision making is the welfare of his family.

· It is also here that a wife learns how to submit to her husband because she has him as an example. A wife should be able to look at here husband and see him submitting to those authorities that God has placed over him. She is instructed in the manner in which his submission is manifested.

¨ Prophet/Teacher

Luke 24:19 And He said to them, "What things?" So they said to Him, "The things concerning Jesus of Nazareth, who was a Prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people,

1 Cor 14:35 And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in church.

· As the verse in Ephesians says, husbands are to wash their wives with the Word. Scripture also commands the wives to seek out their husbands for spiritual understanding. In order for you to discharge this part of your responsibility as husband you must do the following:

· You must be a student of the Word of God. Many of the wives in our fellowship may have a more voracious appetite for instruction than the husbands do. Nevertheless, an obedient wife will seek out her husband and he must be ready or make himself ready to instruct.

· When your wife comes to you with a question, you must provide an answer and teach it to her in such a way that she is edified. When your wife comes to you for counsel, you must provide counsel. You should do so decisively yet not harshly.

· Show your wife the chapter(s) and verse(s) that are applicable to the situation and how they provide the foundation for your counsel or decision.

¨ Priest/Intercessor

Heb 7:25 Therefore He is also able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.

1 Pet 3:7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

· As our High Priest, Christ constantly makes intercession for us but in a unique way. Where a Levitical Priest would intercede by offering a sacrifice, Christ interceded by offering Himself. This was only possible because He was a spotless sacrifice and cannot be duplicated by a husband. But, husbands should labor diligently in prayer on behalf of their wives as they are trusting God for the sanctification of their wives.

· A strong warning is provided by Peter that your prayers are completely futile if you are not dwelling with your wife with understanding.

¨ Sanctifier/Purifier

Titus 2:14 who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works.

· Husbands should long to see their wives grow in godliness and spiritual beauty. They should also recognize that accomplishing this involves very hard work on behalf of the husband. In fact, they must understand that they are given a command, which by themselves, they cannot fulfill. They must labor in faith believing and trusting God to provide the sanctification. This is how God has designed the world; husbands labor diligently serving their wives while trusting God to use their labor to bring about the glory of his wife.

¨ Protector

Matt 16:18 "And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it.

· Generally speaking, God has made husbands physically stronger than the wives. This fact does not imply superiority but rather God created husbands this way so that they could protect their family. This strength should provide protection from physical hazards as well as spiritual traps or situations that would not profit your wife. Sometimes you even have to protect your wife from yourself. See to it that you never speak poorly of your wife to anyone. Never correct or chastise her publicly. As often as possible, tell others of the wonderfulness of your wife and tell it to her as well. This will be a protection for you, your wife and others.

· Husbands should be so involved in their wife’s life and familiar enough with their wives that they can anticipate problems and they should seek to prevent unnecessary stress or complications for their wives.

¨ Provider

Eph 4:11-13 And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ;

1 Tim 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

· I have listed this category last because it is typically the first thing that enters a man’s mind when asked about how a husband should love his wife. Yes, husbands should provide food, shelter and clothing for their families. Even these basics are often overlooked.

· Notice that the provision that Christ made for the church is for the purpose of building unity and perfection. Husbands must also see to it that they provide spiritual food, shelter and clothing for their wives.